You versus you

We’ve all been there. You promise yourself you’ll start that new habit—whether it’s hitting the gym, eating healthier, or finally tackling that project you’ve been putting off. You’re motivated, you’re ready, and you’re convinced this time will be different. But a week later, you’re back to your old ways, wondering what went wrong.

Why is it so darn hard to keep the promises we make to ourselves?

Here’s why.

No One’s Watching (Except You)

When you make a promise to someone else, there’s built-in accountability. You don’t want to let them down, so you push through. But when it’s just you? There’s no one to disappoint but yourself, and let’s be honest, we’re pretty good at forgiving ourselves (sometimes too good). Without external pressure, it’s easy to let things slide. You tell yourself, “I’ll start tomorrow,” and tomorrow turns into next week, next month, or never.

 Instant Gratification Wins (Almost) Every Time

Our brains are wired to chase quick rewards. That’s why scrolling through social media feels better in the moment than grinding through a workout. Promises to yourself often involve delayed gratification such as choosing to eat a salad instead of a burger, saving money instead of splurging. It’s a battle between what you want *now* and what you want long-term.

You Think You’re Stronger Than You Are

We often overestimate our willpower. You swear you’ll stick to your plan, but then life happens. You’re tired, stressed, or just not feeling it, and suddenly that promise feels impossible. We’re not robots; we’re human. Willpower is finite, and when it runs out, so does our commitment.

 Emotions Are Sneaky Saboteurs

Stress, anxiety, or even boredom can derail your best intentions. When you’re feeling off, it’s harder to stay disciplined. You might promise yourself you’ll meditate daily, but when you’re overwhelmed, sitting still feels like the last thing you want to do. Emotions also cloud our judgment, and before you know it, you’ve broken your promise.

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 So, is it even possible to really keep the promises we make to ourselves? The good news is YES and here are 3 things you can do to get started.

**Break it down**

Make smaller promises. Instead of “I’ll work out every day,” start with “I’ll move for 10 minutes.” 

 **Hack accountability**

Tell a friend, use an app, or set reminders. Make it harder to bail on yourself by including someone else in your commitment. 

 **Prep for the dip**

Acknowledge that your willpower will tank. Plan for it and have a backup (like an outdoor walk instead of a full workout or setting a timer to limit social medica scrolling instead of completing abstaining). 

Keeping the promises you make to yourself is tough, but not impossible. It’s founded in self-discipline and a muscle that you can work and build stronger.  Stay committed and don’t beat yourself up if you don’t bench press your goals on day one 😉