Distorted Thinking. For real?
It’s easy to fall into distorted thinking patterns, especially during rough times. Some of the most common ones can be referred to as the "Shoulda, Coulda" behavioral patterns.
⛔ The Shoulda Pattern:
This thinking pattern arises when we adopt a black-and-white perspective on how things should be.
This behavior is easily identifiable as we may frequently use phrases that include the words "should have" or "should not have." Other indicators include statements like "I (we) always do it this way" or "I (we) don't do things that way."
This behavioral thinking pattern fosters a mindset of absolute thinking and restricts opportunities for alternative viewpoints and solutions. Over time, our minds become conditioned to dismiss possibilities outside of the “norm”.
⛔ The Coulda Pattern:
This thinking pattern emerges when you avoid taking responsibility for things within your control (lack of, or too little, personal accountability).
You may make statements such as "I could have done ..." followed by various justifications such as:
➡ IF I had more time
➡ IF I had the authority to make the decision
➡ IF I had better/more training or education
➡ IF I had more money
➡ Etc...
Instead of taking ownership and initiative, we blame our external factors for our inability to act or follow through.
So, what can you do to combat? 🔑
1. Educate yourself about these distorted thinking patterns.
2. Be vigilant for trigger phrases.
3. Emphasize progress over immediate perfection. Changing your behavior may take time, depending on how entrenched these patterns are.
4. Maintain a positive attitude and reward positive progress.
5. Reach out for help, if needed.
Remember, behavioral awareness and pattern recognition is the first step. Once you know what your challenges are, you can begin to take the steps of change.
We’re here to help.
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